Last year, I blogged about giving the gift of independence, by teaching your child basic domestic skills that he will use when he is on his own. I suggested that the holidays was an ideal time to instill these skills, including sewing homemade gifts, ironing the home-made gift, budgeting for store-bought gifts, setting a holiday table, and baking holiday treats.
Rather than scramble at the last minute the summer before college, to teach your child how to do laundry, cook a basic meal, sew on a button, or iron a shirt, teach him through the fun activities we do around the holidays. It could pay off in the long run, when he is cooking for his roommates, giving gifts on a shoestring budget, ironing his clothes for a job interview, or enjoying a first formal dinner with the boss.
When our children are very young, we sometimes make homemade goodies for gift giving. This can be a great activity at any age, because each year we may teach more complicated skills. This is a good time to teach basic cooking skills like boiling, baking, roasting, and frying, or more advanced skills such as the differences between frying and sautéing, stirring and folding, beating and blending, dicing, mincing and chopping, or identifying the various types of flours, sugars, and chocolates. Then there are all the measuring skills including how to divide or double a recipe. Proud grandparents, grateful friends, or delighted acquaintances, will appreciate a young person’s efforts, but these skills could be a benefit when your child is ready to go off to college and later live in his own apartment. Perhaps he may cook for the crowd, rather than rely on frozen TV dinners, take-out pizza, and unhealthy convenience foods.
We hope our children will learn to dress for success, but that takes skill too. Getting dressed up for the holidays or any special occasion could entail ironing a shirt, pants, or dress; sewing on a missing button or repairing a sagging hem; and laundering clothes according to the washing directions. When it comes time for the big interview or a dinner meeting with his first employer, your child will literally have his best foot (no sneakers allowed) forward.
And speaking of success, it could be helpful to understand all the extra silverware on a table or the difference between wine, champagne, port, and liqueur, when the business meeting is at a five-star restaurant. Having your child set the table for a holiday meal and partake in the festivities could be an ideal time to teach such etiquettes.
Based on phone calls that I receive from adolescents, I think we have forgotten to teach phone manners. Have your child call relatives and friends to invite to a party or gathering. Teach him how to identify himself to the receiver, speak with correct grammar, in an appropriate voice tone, and to end the conversation with the appropriate ending. This will come in handy when talking with admissions representatives, setting up job interviews, or making information inquiries.
We rely on schools to teach the academics, but it is parents that teach most life skills. It’s so much more fun to learn through fun activities that bring joy to others. Happy holidays! When the baking, cooking, cleaning, and gift-making is over for this year and you are ready to think about the college search, I’m happy to help you in this next step toward independence. Contact me through my website at www.ruthbrodskyconsulting.com.
