One of my most memorable family times, both growing up and as a parent, was dinnertime, when the whole family came together to eat and share their day. It gave us all an opportunity to catch up on everyone’s happenings, discuss the global world, as well as the local and personal events that affected our lives. As a parent, these dinners were times for our children to discuss homework assignments- the “stupid” ones along with the intriguing ones; to get ideas for essays and research papers, to share book reviews of English assigned novels, as well as books that they were reading for pleasure; and to discuss teachers’ personalities, quirks, and teaching styles. My husband and I were both educators, so it gave us a chance to hear different perspectives on school classes, their most beloved and detested teachers, and general goings on around their schools. We also learned more about their music, books, TV shows, movies, political outlooks, friends, and social events. Sometimes it was just a time to hear what our kids were thinking at that moment, or to listen to them discuss and debate issues among themselves.
My children are all adults now, but when they return home for family events, we continue our dinnertime conversations. Now we have more than our immediate family present, because spouses and significant others join us in these tête-à-têtes, and therefore our conversations have broadened to new perspectives. We still talk about the same types of topics- books we are reading, movies we have seen, political movements we are apart of, trips we have taken, reviews of various kinds, adventures we have encountered, people we have met, friends’ dilemmas and status, and so much more. The dinnertime dialogue was and continues to be a satisfying experience for our family.
Other families like and unlike us, with different family structures, more scheduled times, and technology tune-outs, may have a different look to the dinnertime table talk, but the intent is the same- to keep lines of communication open. Between chauffeuring kids to sports’ practices, play rehearsals, camp, friends’ houses, the library, and fast food stops, our kids and we are so over scheduled, that it seems that there is little chance for family time. But with a commitment to make it happen, and a bit of creativity, the opportunities are there. In talking to some of my clients, I find that some talk on the way to and from church, others have scheduled family councils, or special downtime before everyone retires to their respective areas for the night, or a routine dinner on the way home from a scheduled practice. The venue may change with age and schedules, but the purpose is still the same- to listen, discuss, commiserate, laugh, relax, and support each other. And no matter how each family is configured, each child gains various perspectives on an issue, from a variety of ages, maturity levels, genders, and can evaluate each one according to his own maturity level.
In my role as a college consultant, I help students brainstorm for the “infamous” college essay. I find that many clients draw on their experiences with family to write an interesting and eye-catching essay. Besides the enjoyment of talks with parents, siblings, significant others, grandparents, and extended family, family time becomes a great source for shared stories, creative writing topics, persuasive speeches, and the college essay.
