During this season of gift-giving, why not give your son or daughter the gift of independence? We all know that we should be teaching our children skills to become independent, but the holidays lend themselves perfectly to these lessons. Make it fun now and it should become profitable in the long run. I think back to parents I know who never taught these necessary skills to their kids, and when it was time to go to college, they scrambled to teach them the art of cooking, cleaning, budgeting, and doing laundry. Or they just hoped that their children would eventually learn through others. I think it would be more rewarding to teach these skills through fun activities.
If buying gifts for family and friends are part of your tradition, then this is the time to teach budgeting and the value of money. If your child already receives an allowance, then suggest that they buy gifts with their savings, but you must sit down with them to plan this out. Budgets, saving plans, and how much an item is worth can carry over into birthday gifts, graduation gifts for friends, and later into saving and buying their own clothes and personal items. By the time your child is ready to go off to college, he should be able to use his money more wisely for those extras that all college students want for their dorm rooms, times to eat out, activities he participates in, and general spending.
If making gifts is more your tradition, then this could be the time to teach sewing and ironing. Sewing on buttons, making a seam or a hem, or making a small patch are valuable skills. Unfortunately when not attached to some fun activity, these skills appear boring and are therefore overlooked. When your child goes off to college, he may be more likely to repair his own clothing item rather than pass it to a roommate that has these skills or to throw out or stop wearing a perfectly good clothing item. Ironing, another boring task, when applied to a homemade gift, is another skill that can be the difference between looking disheveled or professional.
Most children love to bake cookies and other sweet treats. Think of all the valuable lessons that can be taught for future independent living! This is a good time to teach basic cooking skills like sautéing and pureeing, or the differences between dough and batter, beating and blending, dicing, mincing and chopping, or identifying the various types of flours, sugars, and chocolates. Then there are all the measuring skills including how to divide or double a recipe. The list is endless and could be daunting, but if you are teaching through the idea of giving a gift to proud grandparents, grateful friends, or delighted acquaintances, the chore is so much more fun. When your child is ready to go off to college and later live in his own apartment, he may rely less on frozen TV dinners, take-out pizza, and junk foods.
Setting the table for guests can be more fun than the mundane family dinner, though children should be doing that too. If you are serving wine to your guests, this is a good time to teach the differences between wines, champagnes, ports, and liqueurs. Choosing the silverware and puzzling through the place settings can be a challenge, but when preparing for holiday guests, can be both fun and educational. Later on when your child is seeking a job and may go to dinner with the boss, he will have to know which fork to use and when, and what type of wine to order with dinner.
We rely on schools to teach the academics, but it is parents that teach most life skills. It’s so much more fun to learn through fun activities that bring joy to others. Happy holidays! When the baking, cooking, cleaning, and gift-making is over for this year and you are ready to think about the college search, I’m happy to help you in this next step toward independence. Contact me through my website at www.ruthbrodskyconsulting.com.
