Parents can be fearful of allowing their child to take time off from school, before attending college. I was one such parent. My daughter took a semester abroad in 11th grade and had one of the best learning and living experiences of her young life. Her quote to me, at the end of this experience, was “ it was so great to hear of all the things I should try, instead of all the things I shouldn’t do because I might get hurt (physically and mentally). We learned to push ourselves, take risks, and deal with the consequences, whether good or bad.”
Of course I was thrilled that my daughter had an “awesome” experience, but she now needed to get back into the routine of school and preparation for the college process. Some students struggle all through their K-12 experience, so by the time graduation comes around, they are burnt out. My daughter struggled in middle school and high school, with depression and anxiety (later diagnosed as ADHD), and despite the respite abroad, where learning was hands-on, field trips rounded out the curriculum, and in-depth discussions were the norm, she was still burnt out by the end of high school.
For me the thought of a gap-year was barely plausible. First, I knew next to nothing about structured gap-years. Then there was the age-old fear that if she took time off, she may never go to college, and all of us (she included) knew this was the path she needed to take. No one at her school made any suggestions about alternatives to college. Everyone saw her potential and pushed for the 4-year experience. We did the usual college search, visited campuses, made the applications, agonized during the waiting-period for acceptances, and then she chose a college. We supported her choice and she was on her way.
Unfortunately, this bright young woman dropped out of college after 2 ½ years. She was unable to keep up the pace, get herself organized, juggle all the assignments, and still enjoy a social experience. She was doing all the right things- using tutors, going to professors for help, studying, writing papers, turning in assignments, and attending classes. Yet the anxiety of trying to do it all was too much for her. She started by withdrawing from classes for which she felt ill prepared. Then she signed up for the lightest load possible. Later, with our encouragement, she chose to attend college part-time, so she could work part-time too. She said that working made her feel successful, where school did not. She said she needed a balance. Finally, after two and a half years she dropped out altogether and worked full time.
In my practice, I have met many students like my daughter. Some have learning disabilities and are struggling to keep up and maintain good grades. Others have typical characteristics of ADHD and are unable to keep up and maintain good grades. Still others have physical disabilities, mental illnesses, or even undiagnosed problems that keep them from reaching their full potential. They are so burnt out by the end of 12th grade that the thought of college is overwhelming. Many scenarios follow. Despite the burnt out feeling, many students follow the normal flow along with their peers who will be attending college the following fall. Sometimes these same students drop out or fail out after the first semester. Some will make it through a year of college with poor grades. Others will make the grades, but suffer with depression, anxiety, or physical ailments. And some students, who do not get into their desired college, may go to a community college or find employment before starting the reapplication process.
The gap-year could prevent some of these scenarios. If a student is not ready for college, it is a waste of money to force them to go. Likewise, if they are not willing to make a commitment to more classes and study time, then they should pursue other opportunities until they are ready to decide between college, other post-secondary models, employment, or a combination of these. Many other countries require their high school graduates to participate in service to their country before attending college, so the idea of a gap-year is not unusual in these locales.
Some colleges consider gap-year students to be more mature and motivated, because they have a better perspective about themselves and the accomplishments that they would like to achieve. The benefits of a gap-year are many: a chance to explore career interests, an opportunity to learn about other cultures by traveling to foreign countries, increased self-esteem and self-confidence, application of strengths that may have been hidden in a traditional classroom, using talents in new environments, increased leadership skills, reassessment of values and, improved self-discipline and responsibility, or resume-building for future employment. Besides these general benefits, students who are burnt out from struggling through school, have a chance to be become rejuvenated and to rediscover strengths and talents that have been suppressed.
My daughter took her gap-year, after dropping out of college. She worked full-time and volunteered as a youth advisor. Since she already had learned skills from working part-time, I think she learned many additional skills as a youth advisor. She became more skilled in negotiation and more secure in speaking with parents. She learned how to navigate through emergency situations, access resources to help the adolescents she was advising, and juggle time. She realized her strengths in problem solving, patience, perseverance, and an innate perception of others’ needs and feelings. In general, she gained the self-confidence that she needed to go back to school in order to realize her dream of becoming a social worker. My only regret is that I could have overcome my own fears, and offered her time off to rejuvenate. Though she was resilient to her own failures, a gap-year would have allowed her to regain this confidence before college.
Well known organizations, such as AmeriCorps, City Year, Habitat for Humanity, World Wide Opportunities on Organic Farms (WWOOF), AFS Intercultural Programs, Volunteers for Peace, and Outward Bound, to name a few, provide gap-year experiences for graduating high school students. Some are study-abroad programs, local internships, community service, or travel explorations. If you want to know more about these opportunities or would like to talk about the value of a gap-year, contact me at www.ruthbrodskyconsulting.com.
